THE ONE BRITISH LAW I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND   By Jonathan Clemens  

THE ONE BRITISH LAW I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND  By William Vanderbilt Breay  

 
The national mandatory breathalyzer tests 
 
Twice a week 
 
Always different days and times 
 
And nobody knows where they’ll be approached 
 
On the train, sitting in church, the Costa queue 
 
Lately, they’ve been coming straight to my house, in the middle of the night 
 
And if you fail the test 
 
They haul you straight down to the pub  
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