CLICK HERE OR DIE   WHAT'S NEXT? THE 20 MOST LIKELY BREXIT SCENARIOS   By Fallows Mencken 

WHAT'S NEXT?  THE 20 MOST LIKELY BREXIT SCENARIOS   By Fallows Mencken 

 
1. May asks European Union for 12 month delay 
 
2. May resigns 
 
3. May negotiates with Corbyn 
 
4. May blames Tory rebels. Bo-Jo blames Muslims. Rees-Mogg blames Chavs 
 
5. Chavs revolt. Essex secedes from UK 
 
6. Michael Gove assassinates May. Frames Polish plumber. Appears on Andrew Marr to say he should be PM 
 
7. Top Google search: "Is Michael Gove gay?" 
 
8. Spinless Corbyn pleads with NHS to cover spine implant 
 
9. Bo-Jo plot to assassinate Theresa May fails after he gets distracted, drinks two bottles of sherry, shags nearest secretary 
 
10. Dominic Raab kills May. Gives tearful speech at funeral. Leaks to press he's the frontrunner to replace 
 
11. Top Google search: "Who is Dominic Rabbit?" 
 
12. "Prime Minister's Questions" audience: 72 viewers. "Love Island" audience - 72 million 
 
13. Nation Googles "Irish backstop" but gets distracted by Hello Magazine. Spends rest of day clicking through Pippa bum pics, feeling bad about themselves 
 
14. Amber Rudd goes on television to promote her candidacy for PM. National emergency declared after her appearance puts entire nation to sleep 
 
15. Jeremy Hunt drowns May in Number 10 toilet. Leaks to press he's the frontrunner to replace 
 
16. Top Google search: "Do posh people call it toilet or loo?" 
 
17. Ghost of fiddle playing Emperor Nero appears outside Number 10 
 
18. Telegraph top story: "Prince Edward sets Donkey Kong record"  
 
19. Crazed ax-wielding David Davis kills Theresa May, Michael Gove, Boris Johnson, Amber Rudd, Alan Cumming and One Direction 
 
20. Financial Times. Wednesday, July 2nd, 2078 - "Key Brexit vote next week" 
"Celebrating the unbearable misery of British life" 
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