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HOW TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN AMERICAN AND A BRIT
1. You know the correct pronunciation of every single word in the English language
2. You own a pair of red trousers and wear them without irony (or sobriety)
3. You own a house in the country that was built by an ancestor who has his own Wikipedia page (not written by you)
4. You were privately educated (this one is non negotiable)
5. The Shipping Forecast is a powerful aphrodisiac
6. You never wear clothing with visible labels (unless it's from Tesco)
7. You advertise the fact that you like rubgy and cricket
8. But know nothing about football ("Harry Kane? Isn't he a cardiologist on Harley Street?")
9. You bank with Handelsbanken (used to be Coutts - but that’s now for vulgar footballers and their WAGs)
10. You own less than one television
11. Radio 4 (including that fantastically boring gardening show and the incomprehensible radio plays)
12. The three most beautiful words in the English language: "Fortnum and Mason"
13. You own a muddy old Range Rover whose interior is covered in dog hair that goes all the way back to the dog that died in 1972 (the same year you inherited the car)
14. You never speak of money unless it’s to complain how little you have
15. You own a jumper that's older than your wife
16. “I’ve never read the Daily Mail"
17. You own a pair of wellies that are so permanently in mud it’s no longer possible to discern their original color (green)
18. You know to pronounce the surname St John as “SIN-jin”
19. Gin and tonic? Gin and tonic? Lovely -- three gin and tonics
20. You shop at Oxfam charity shops
22. You didn't click on this article
"Celebrating the unbearable misery of British life"